Time

So, I missed a few days of sharing the things I am thankful for.

On Wednesday evening I had an anxiety attack.

We took Nathaniel to his first basketball practice.

There were three teams practicing, parents talking, and just plain noise everywhere.

The anxiety had started earlier in the day while I was attending a conference 

on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (ironic).

The anxiety intensified at the practice to the point that I had to ask Jason to take me home and forgo a dinner date with him after kids were dropped off at Awanas.

Pray for us as Jason and I are both dealing with anxiety issues right now.

Thursday was a crazy day as it was like our Friday at school.

I came home after school and began a mad cleaning and organizing frenzy.

Family is coming soon to stay with us for Thanksgiving.

I feel like there is so much to do.

Friday, I continued cleaning

It was Veteran's Day.

It was a day a realized the magnitude of time wasted and words unsaid.

My phone had died and Jason and I were vegging in the family room.

Jason gets a text that my dear friend Andrea's dad has suffered a massive heart attack.

I quickly went and plugged in my phone while I debated going to the hospital.

I didn't want to be in the way.

My other dear friend Janet texts to pray urgently.

I decide to go to the hospital.

Security takes me to the room where Andrea and her family is.

I walk in, Andrea is sitting next to her dad's lifeless body.

It was a surreal moment.

I embraced her and cried with her.

Less than hour before that Charlie, a proud veteran, was having pumpkin pie with family.

Now he was in the most glorious place, his eternal home.

My heart broke for her as she cried about not sharing her feelings with her dad while he was here with her.

Guilt, an intense emotion in a tragic time.

Satan trying to take advantage of a weak moment.

God filling that room with people that loved her and Danny.

People not there that were lifting them up in prayer.

Charlie had been living with her for the last year and eight months.

One day a knock on the door, a dad there to become a presence in her life.

A time of rebuilding a father-daughter relationship.

Though words not often said, love was there.

At 9:30, I texted my dad to tell him I loved him.

I figured he would be asleep.

He texted back,  "We all need to take the time to smell the flowers!"

Wise words.  

Life gets busy and we forget to work on those relationships

To tell each other we love each other.

To spend time together.

In those moments I realized that there is nothing more important than the relationships 

we have with family and those around us.

Today, my dad called to tell me that someone named Ellen needed me to call her.

He gave me a number.

I called.

Ellen is another dear friend and a coworker.

She shared that a former coworker's son had been killed in the Middle East.

My heart breaks again.

As I imagine a mother sitting at home engulfed with sadness.

I imagine she's dwelling on the last words she shared with him.

The last moments they had together before he headed overseas.

Again, I am reminded.

Our time here is short.

Are we making the most of our lives?

Are we acting how God would want us to act?

Are we reflecting to others the love He has for us?

Are we leaving a legacy?

Tonight, I pray Andrea and lift her up.

Tonight, I pray for my coworker and lift her up.

Tonight, I pray for myself.

The changes I need to make so that I am cherishing my time here.

Working on the legacy I want to leave.

Finding the blessings,

Denise